Of its own mind

better than half lies
half to be heard
and half winked at
for you to figure
better than half truths
living out their half lives
like impotent sparks
of a damped fire
better than non sequitur
led by the nose
none knows where
what we should stand for
is what we are
resolute in choosing
or letting go
how schooling heart
half understanding
sui generis says
in fathomed approval
despite your honorific
shall and shoulds
might and mays


jan, mmviii

Grinds y down

it grinds y down
    i tells yer
it grinds y down
    wearworn careworn
    beaten battered
b day by day
    endurin
it grinds y sum
it grinds agin
    wot kin i do
    wot i ask kin i do
sore an mizerabble
haid an joints perticklar
o haid suffers
    well    u know u know
wut goez on inside
    and t stretch
    breathe deep
    is luxury fair
u know
ifn yer course crosses
wid hex
b day by day
soonz yer hup
so soonz yer down
    not funny
taint alike clownz anticks
tiz shape of fortune
    grindz yer darn


sept, mmxiv

if only

if only what impended
if only it descended
if only singly singing
if only you and i    yes
if only we did
if only what would
if only hoped for should
a plague on this only if

Bring along your babies oh

Bring along your babies oh
mother dear!     never fear
the worst    for when the petals burst
the bud will quicken the blood
red eye of the sun to shine fiercely
down     down     down     until . . . thistledown
puff     gone     flown
to seed again     mother dear
dear earth mother
so never fear the worst
bring along your babies oh!


mmlxxx

Fragments II

as the peony bud
bends on a slender
stalk
my heart's opening
awareness
bends in deference


because you're an open book
i've not read between the lines


stripped of my masks
faceless
down to the psyche's buff
ego-less
sloughed of fancies
i arise
and walk on water
and imitate the skies


with a right royal gesture
i'll disinter the cadaver of our affair
overturn the headstone
and declare
an amnesty for mortified lovers


mmlxxxvi

dying to qualify

Matter is evil
trump card for membership
in this vicarious game of opposites
cleaves body from soul
we mortals guilty of human nature
and sentenced before quickening
which means flesh blood bone nerves
and above all sensible mind
damned as devil's work
reasoning from elementary either-or
decides who takes charge of our will
our right to reason freely
conscience blown
caring and compassion for world corporeal
tis all swept away like litter in wind's ken
this earth we inhabit
source of being and doing
manifold of elements compounded
folded into many and many beyond compare
no arbitrary division
as if words could choose affinity
that owes no relation to its originall
what do we deny
complicit with idle proof
that matters a damn

feb mmxiv

hey hey

Hey hey     ize a sick ol man

     ain no use to pout n frown

whan ize daid to frum ize cum

   then hey hey tiz ho nonny none

ho nonny none      whan ize feelin sore

     hurtin bad n wurse in store

taint az if ize young no more

     hey hey tiz whoz t' care

hey nonny no wotz up soonz down

     skinny az rope an wun end gone

cheeks sucked in an teeth undun

     then hey ize fettle as a skeleton

hey di ho meanz summatz up

     sky is fallin vexed wi snow

summerz went n autumn flew

     and hey tiz next t stars cum thru

whan hey hey me toes turn up

     t'aint mort o' matter whar ize dug

spent me gains on booze n fun

     herez t hey ho n hey nonny none

wid hey ho     then upend me mug

feb mmxiv

iz it here ... izit thar ... ho tiz hot air

Bah meister barmbrackt

tich sticks his end in

thoo pontificates frum on hi

calls yersen seeker o trooth

better don wings

u haz far to go

wid yer airy haspirayshuns

wharz dis elevated plan u sites

belike pole-sitter

beggin scraps o numinus mannah

let fall frum upper firmament

absolomon verity

yer wurds git longer less eligibull

fer unnerstanding more youse prates

till u flies off hintoxicated

dasnt u stan huprite on urthz gravitas

bag o intestinal niftytude

trooth darn here must enjoy qualifier

or it stanz alone

similar to maiden aunt last o tribe

gotta hab relations

watch tich see me barry

makes no sense stannin forlorn

here goes

i pick up handles o ditto

an push den off i trots

now tis has meanin

tip o me cap yer honner

thanx fer pleasant natter

big i am per pro tich* wid haid ache

mar mmxiv

*Tich Backhouse hiz sayso

i think incessantly of those

after Stephen Spender's poem:

“i think continually of those who were truly great who left the vivid air signed with their honour”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i think incessantly of those who were truly great

who left the vivid wind signed with their honour

because i am disconsolate about my life's mean history

i want to torture strength ascend invade the brave air

slay dragons fight wild beasts with my hands

unstain the world of its dishonour

instead i sink in the gutter of my need

and leave the unrecognizing stare empty of my gesture

i think continually of how i'd rather walk with those

astride like a colossus where little men peep between my knees

though i sense deceit the trickery of fate

the truly great become a mockery

when i measure stars which shine beyond their death

saying nothing bitterly

brilliantly signing the midnight air with their blue humour

and the bare rounds of earth's orbit

memorably assign the beating rhythm of the gravid seasons

citing no authorities or poets intent on glorification

or teachers of good rollicking reasons we incredulously perpetuate

i wear my honour like a mantle of cloud cover

rain and snow lower my brow and the frost steams from my breath

uphill work this desire to survive beyond life

descending to death without tragedy or comedy to humour my posterity

and i thank continually those who wrote across the atmosphere

with trails of glory in their honour

curving across the deep wide blue of who i am

with visions of what i might be

an awesome prospect if i could forget the might-be as a should

that draws a cloud over the bountiful sun

i wear my honour like a mantle of cloud cover

thinking continually of who i am this day

immeasurably greater for the beating bounty of my frosted breath

writing the bare round rhythm of this winter season with my white signature

mmxiv (edited: probably 1960's)

stands by quod libet hey

i warn you

    do not tease

thisaway and thataway

    as we may

straight to learn

wholly to play

    tis neither bent

not curiously bidden

whichever whatever

sense we make

    of the matter

leaving mine privily

whose business you argue

shall we not moot point

so quod libet not to belabour

take our affairs

    without waiver

we'll agree then

none certain

    eye to eye      you'n me

inexplicably can affirm or deny
    as canny raccoon will exhibit

wash hands      await events    up a tree

mmxiv