i think incessantly of those

after Stephen Spender's poem:

“i think continually of those who were truly great who left the vivid air signed with their honour”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i think incessantly of those who were truly great

who left the vivid wind signed with their honour

because i am disconsolate about my life's mean history

i want to torture strength ascend invade the brave air

slay dragons fight wild beasts with my hands

unstain the world of its dishonour

instead i sink in the gutter of my need

and leave the unrecognizing stare empty of my gesture

i think continually of how i'd rather walk with those

astride like a colossus where little men peep between my knees

though i sense deceit the trickery of fate

the truly great become a mockery

when i measure stars which shine beyond their death

saying nothing bitterly

brilliantly signing the midnight air with their blue humour

and the bare rounds of earth's orbit

memorably assign the beating rhythm of the gravid seasons

citing no authorities or poets intent on glorification

or teachers of good rollicking reasons we incredulously perpetuate

i wear my honour like a mantle of cloud cover

rain and snow lower my brow and the frost steams from my breath

uphill work this desire to survive beyond life

descending to death without tragedy or comedy to humour my posterity

and i thank continually those who wrote across the atmosphere

with trails of glory in their honour

curving across the deep wide blue of who i am

with visions of what i might be

an awesome prospect if i could forget the might-be as a should

that draws a cloud over the bountiful sun

i wear my honour like a mantle of cloud cover

thinking continually of who i am this day

immeasurably greater for the beating bounty of my frosted breath

writing the bare round rhythm of this winter season with my white signature

mmxiv (edited: probably 1960's)