Ode to a Dead Mouse

Dedicated to the fair Eufemia, who said it couldn't be done

Squashed, repugnant, verminous mouse

that did unauthorized ransack my house

your territorial rights were nil

you trespassed and now foot the bill

for damages accrued while tasting

my best Gruyere acquired on Hasting's

at great expense: you are a dunce

the Cheddar i’d have happily stood for

and shown you, compensation-wise, the door

it is by choice, not chance

you are the victim of a circumstan-

tial boot, that crushed you flat

while full of loot – i cried, “Take that!”

Valedictory

You squirm no more, in state you lie

with spatula i had to pry

and drape you with the newsprint shroud

don’t worry, mouse, i’ll do you proud

this moral text i shall recite

in homage due for your last rite:

a gourmand i respect as such

but Gruyere cheese costs far too much!

‘98