Dawn overslept

Dawn overslept

rubs eyes

opens curtains of night

no apologies for london plane trees

naked leaves with foliage down

 rumpled at feet

as if stepping from cold morning ablutions

 late november's mist and drizzle

i with camera coaxed out of doors

 breaking hush in dim twilight

senses at point

 scan shrubbery for opportune takes

there! amongst ruddy lance-shaped leaves

 pearly droplet clinging to branch

pulsing with urge to let go

.....click! did i or did i not .....

 like heartbeat of quivering life

recorded in digital image

 i may hold original finitely in electronic stasis

as it was and never will be again

 aware how gods or no gods

we may enter and be touched by beyond

 beyond what commonly seems to exist

and quench our longing in uncommon splendour

December mmxi

Of love

   
     Of  love
               so quick to tongue
     be wary
               tis for young to learn
     we fail by falling
               in and out
     qualified to earn
               how happy     how sorry

     subject to poet's metaphor
               this esteemed estate
     where selves subsumed
               fall under sway consummate
     beyond fancy or expectation
               synthesis
     opening out
               what we share commonly
     and how different
               to meet     to hear     to explore
     this fair intimacy
               arriving through hardihood and puissance
     at matched experience
               cherished in contemplation
     and enjoyed as it unfolds
               so to let be let be
     let become what becomes


mmix

of origin ...

... being of itself utmost bounty
calls originality into being
   
In the beginning
          was the thing most and only alike itself
most alike what it was
          and the beginning
being original arose out of its own spontaneity
          so the beginning was
and always is the beginning
          which we are wont to call right and good
not being able to dance upon the point of π
          harmonious proportion
being itself as itself in every way

you and i     sue     are of that seed and flowering
          being ever alike and not alike
and endowed with a sense of proportion
          in order to declare thisisthis and thatisthat
we shape into particular things     single or many
          each a novel identity even in likeness
droplets of the infinite flux and endless flow
          which are never lost or estranged
except incidentally or to themselves hapless
          for the fulness of being known
is itself being itself in every way
          through spontaneity dancing upon the point of π
or finding own selfhood when seeming most lost


mmx

Tich, on guilt

From Tich Backhouse`s Confessions

Whan i feelz a spazm o`guilt comin`on, i sez to mesen, Tich, me lad, that horsewhip aint yore owen, tiz relick ob your forefaderz who knew no better, treated thissenz like wild beasts.
So i takes me orf t Blaxmitz Armz fer a pint o wallop ter show i iz kind t dumb animulez.

LEA

Hey luv

    Hey luv     let us go a-jaunting    o
        when the red-cheeked sun
in her walking-out attire
        rises laughing over the horizon

scooting by watchful hawk and eagle
        down to the jaunty seagull's hangout
rocky shore    sandy beach    weedy marge
        where tireless tide's urge to push and pull
from bygone sagacity rules
        poseidon's fishy realm and aphrodite's foamy origin
where awareness begat sentiency

yes    our home too: briny and ozone
        whose thriving presence invigorates
while we alert and observant    pole and peer
        thrilled    and often chilled    never want for wonder
for this is a force beholden to no-one
        and like love    provides and demands
generous and severe

L.E.A., mmix

Solipsis

Take the eye of mind
the longing "i"
the knowing "i"
explore its subtle self
as in a scrying glass
lit by the lantern of the psyche


enter the cavern of the cranium
at the threshold of awareness
where shapeless musings
beckon at the ports of insight


i have explored the passages of self
braved the introspective dark
undistracted by spectral fantasies
in antiquated dress
which spell-bind with doomsay and revelation
those who peep
then look askance


i learned to step ahead
with ear attuned to resonances
echoic as in a void
and slept inside the tomb of yesterday


where sunlight creeps into the eastern hall
there i awake to life
and mingle with that throng
of feelings thoughts appearances
that market-place
my personality
where i belong
my self-meant territory


early 60s, rev. mmxi

body aint what it were

  He didn't ask
  what state
  how low
    he felt
  not himself
    snake-bitten
  no escape
    his body's travail
  wasted
    on mundane labour
  slumps in chair
    sees hand
  between thumb and forefinger
    map like vellum
  translucent
    where veins and skin
  in perspective
    recognize
  terrain of age
    state he fell in
  poor sod
    his body
  distressed by pain
    demands recognition
  and yes
    briefly mended
  he'll disregard
    again
  and suffer
    humiliation
  known as
    old duffer


mmxi

In company of angels

In company of angels

no doubt music

medium of heavenly expression

for sounds born of where why what if

would be clucked out of marble halls

imperilled as they are with uncertainty

thuswise we keep our feet on ground

under doubt's contrary shadow

in purposeful endeavour

to wring out of refractory consonants

and arbitrary vowels

what stands in for

what is behind standing in for

affinity found by imagination

beyond witness reason

can with agreement

no question raised

join our divided parts

and arrive where wisdom fails

discovering in womb's

combobulative song

eloquent tongue

our throats with wingèd chords

leaping through lusty strains

will dare angelic choirs

exhuberant response:

hail ye boo-ba-boo yeah ...!

mmxi

Hellhound Bay

I'll tell you a thing
    a thing to be told
rodent like hellhound
    more fiendish more bold

one moment twere serpent
    an 'terpsichore t'other
any shape it could wear
    as sister to brother

o doubt not you cynic
    each word that I utter
never sandwich so thick
    or spread so with butter

the like never hunted
    not as hungry for prey
as savage in mien
    nor kraken nor ray

oh that bestial spawn
    from dregs o the deep
they say he were born
    without mother to weep

ferocity incarnate
    at ravening prey
parastichopus    hydromedusa
    outviciousing they

o fear ye at midnight
    o fear ye at noon
neither garlic nor crosstalk
    will ward you from harm

take heed of my warning
    bend ear    mind your act
stay clear of the saltchuck
    at walpurgisnacht


for hallowe'en mmx

true blues

Let's not sing the blues      mister
      i got 'nough hurt
spilled to lose
      no kind o moody song
kin take me that place
      where sadness don't belong
how in hell can i bear
      that caterwailin guitar
of down-n-dismal romance
      sure had my share
long time this guy larnin
      what double-dealin do
yore heartache caint cure
      wretched at night
hate mornin too

better move right along
      this feller digs the score
that blues hauling old freight
      no use t feel sore
what's gone's gone
      keep head on straight
if she's right woman
      no matter what's ne t
wisen up      you kin wait


laurie ashton dec mmi

sense out of sensibility

Tut     promise you     love
    never did peremptory utterance
so get left ad hoc to chance
i'd tell you first
    what occurs by slow or urgent degrees
as we dabble or plunge
    in shallows or deeps
thus rehearsed by petty daily drama met
should rule through neglect of rule

trust in faith can't offer trust
    nor constancy without equivocation

upon each mutual occasion
    foregoing what is yet to be owed
as with avowal greater gathered
    this then and now whenever
mishap by no means misled
    continuity aptly prevails
each to each engaged in together-meant

heart so beats     breath so swells
    upon matters that tacit matter

oh tis tizzy admits malice
    soothly restored for affirmative
fondest affection     tender regard     caring touch
    earthier than precepts of importunate imperative love
determination more ready to equable concern
    by mere fantastic sentiments unmoved

tis t'woosomeness
    un-put-able tongue-wise     other than ...

... companionate elucidation


sept 29th mmx

Before we were wed

Before we were wed
    how often we'd said
love lasts and no foolin'
    we've written the ruling

alas    how come    why
    you 'n i made time fly
too soon and we split:
    never mind and that's it

alas    howcome    why
    time flies to th' limit
twain t' two gone by
    before we can tame it

exposure to wind
    and exposure to weather
blows off yr headdress
    'n sprightly tail feather

epode to life (singing ,,,

oh i looked it over
    happy over
still it's over for a long long time

mcmlxxx__

Mud Bay, October mmix

Mud Bay, you'll stay as you were
    in our weather eye this day
dank desolate late october
    heavy drizzle    wind tilts umbrellas

and cameras sprayed with rain
    high tide featurless unmoved
such pounding on grass and reeds
    clumps of heavy-headed flowers
saturated and subdued    like us

no we didn't shout in confrontation
    nothing dramatic    too busy coping
by mutual support    tangle of togs and gear
    elements aim breath-taking shots at us

lone great blue heron empties locality
    at our substitution and elects distant post
marching legs of railroad    trestle dwindling
    like our comfort zone

blown away and had enough
    we seek alleviations of car
content to be present and in companionable spirts
    when earth and weather conjoin
    treating us to spectacular visitation

mmix

to laughter insubstantial

You don't have to be ilkla moor baht hat
    or doolahlitap
to dig th' infra
    simply touched
when you encounter number's outcome
    death's door
dearth of plenty     dower of none

cheer up    says sparrow
    layin' down bow-n-arrow
cue tip to review

likelihood's where we're at
    certainty - trust in bonce's sponsorship
gone for a burton

trees in breeze     mare's tails in sky
    supply verity to you and i
anticipating rain or clarity
    consulting obedience    habit's tie

on measure    we stake our lot
    crossroads of heart's dilemma
passion a-sighin an' a-sobbin
    topknot counts us out
guts in denial
    as evermore invites us in

suzerain transcendence     sacreblah
    dig the infra
doff thinking capstone
    feel how and what and is
source of up and does and wrests worth

egyptian goddess nut overarching sky
    twin of world-god geb
pictured bending from horizon to horizon
    in touching embrace poised
primitive vision    shattered as visions must
    until beyondwherewithal    manumitted from human whatness

my    oh my    unbounded unmindful at last
    singing paean as visions slip away
until what is not is not

mmix

Whatever you may call it

Whatever you may call it
    sun stands still on its head
before it turns into new orbit
    make of that what you will
call it winter solstice    romans did
    sacrifice or sanctify with observance
kiss under mistletoe or paint town red
    'taint hope or dread affects outcome
why'd we let sun's axis tax us
    summoning luck or gods' boon
hence moonface or sunny demeanour
    in expectation of new year:
may generous health your days attend
    with firm friends and love held dear


mmx

Dream

My interpretation of last night's dreams, how diseases could be like people, or vice versa, you never can trust their good offices, be on your guard!

Yesterday i read a monograph (an unusually long one) on APO-PREDNISONE 5mg which i have had prescribed to alleviate symptoms of a chest and lung condition; i have been in an apathetic bodily state, translated into mental, even emotional, due to (mainly) a simple fact, breathing an unhealthy air, which most subjects here seem to survive; but only for regenerated and "normal", enjoying this state of being alive and curiously happy about what i am doing and where i am, at the beach, seaside, fresh "ozone" in my lungs or "prana" or oxygen (as we call it) but like the yoga books i read, a life-giving influxicant (?) "inspiration", spirit, the will and energy to "be immediately whole" physically and mentally when partaken of or breathed in to condition the body, mind, all senses. Too wordy!

This monograph was dire with nay-saying and "ill" prognostications which set me aflame with instant coals of hell ahead - or some such panic. Words spring out alive like Pallas Athene in my brain & thigh, armed, and in this case, dangerous.

The "air" is buzzing - people agog about the 'flu, esp. the new "in" flu, H1N1, and bulletins, hazardous and rife, proceed from the mouth of authorities - "get your shot, vaccinated, be safe, make all safe, etc!!!" I'm to get my dose in a week, both vaccines, yet i read in my monograph on prednisone, no no no no don't get vaccinated or associated with those that are (Sue got a shot from her doctor last week - the first flu) quote,

"Do not have vaccinations, immunizations, or skin-tests ... live vaccines may cause serious complications (eg. infection)"

Oh dear. But Sue steadied me, sane as she is, having studied these bizarre formulations in her wont for biology and medicine. Cancel vaccination if doctor orders.

Last night, i seem to have translated or symbolized or interpreted the monograph into fantastic dreams, people instead of bugs, kind and nasty by turns - you never know which it seems - i was in the society of a large family or related people who lived in a corner of land (3 acres) near me, outlandish folk, who by connivance and entrapment conveyed me (innocent as i was) to some gathering ...

(damn but at the point i was to write out what took place, my porridge boiled over, stove-top a mess, my hasty efforts to retrieve ruined same dish - no breakfast to go with the prednisone, a must! - and by now 11am washed out, with porridge, recollection of dream, even in poor detail ...)

I recall only how they alternated between (feigned) attentive kindness and spite - the shoddy lot! - lost my trust, and harried me, till a sweet young thing took me under a care, walking me back to where i came from (?nearby their place) but me no buts, by then i expected a denouement or turning against me as a body (showing their true nature) and this mockup of a treat (the muchness of the girl's blueyed presence) instantly put me on guard. It was she to deliver retribution or punitive blow to my safety & esteem. I woke up in a tizzy.

mmix

Untitled

My sleep    i tell     be still
    because it dream of thee
nervous as leonina melibe
    that slips from here to there
by no one shape possessed

o tell me    heart
    that be i sore or sad
more in head than in thee

though tis dream i dream
    dreamless addressing thee
thy potent afflatus
    as if some demented lodgment
penetrates my brain

yes even mottled vagary
    of fashion or motion
forgotten as soon as seen
    art thou in my subcranial
notices    albeit more unreal
    than illusive self i tend

oh yes    what you demand
    in my most demented dreams     i fend

oct, mmix

after reading Thomas Campion his verses
when ill and medicated, my awakening turn to pen

Manifesto or Rant in Deep Gaze Delving

Part 1

Oh kindred by birth and death related
    on teeming earth dwellling
commerce of pulsating organs
    through cellular intelligence impregnated
origin infinitude
    coming from and going to
tissues importunate with growth
    who lustful live and dissolute die
deprived of wants that fail through vicissitude
    misadventure of this fickle cycle
oh community of indeterminate animation
    born to accident and challenged with loss
what could recompense injury more apt than relief
    or compassion restrain intemperate demands
mind by inspiration more than ambition
    accedes to conscience' better eye

oh community of kinds at odds about ends
    from means obtained how known
except some antic universal cause
    with wisdom from past lore elicited
attend to beginnings how led
    in what purposive directions
community with concern for fellowship in common
    variously inclined to unique identity apart
whose insights preserved by ritual and practice
    though skilfully employed with attainments incredible in scope
none consider a priori right to hierarchical supremacy
    except vain attitude of one self-indulgent species
that would cite imperative authority for distinct unfellowship


Part 2

oh human kin new-born to wonder
    with delight and curiosity ennobled
body and mind in accord
    rudely aroused to consciousness
giving tongue in elemental protest
    by need informed and by habit conditioned
sufficiently quick of self commanding
    to prove original independence
whether as ready to oblige as defy

oh spirit of animation by what cost
    of nature natural with instinct imbued
sooner or late conforming to species' interest
    determined by adapting to curcumstance
how taught how inclined from ingenuity informed
    external ground from internal experience differentiating
until what's known through sensible perception
    surrenders to thought's conceptual validity
immediacy distanced by objectivity from abstract truth
    i self-consciously felt as me
that other self    falling short of ideality
    uniform perfection    state of ultimate virtue
thwarting companionship with teeming earth
    disowned in favour of superior image
conceit of human ego    rogue arrogance
    even vassals' due denied
oracular epitaph so inscribed:
    ah weal and woe kinship's loss
    homage and fealty disdained

finis

mmix

To Love

For young to learn
    or apprise by falling
in    and out:
    'to love'    verb
wordworthy adjective
    for poets' courtly
conduct and conduit between
    where selves get subsumed

love: to dote
    falls short on staying power
misses mark    butt of cupid's shaft
    might as well go sky-larking
as vaunt the quill
    or mope the turtle-dove

tis comminution of vocabulary
    before love divine'
s versatile synthesis of
    pointing out and recognizing
what's in common and differs

how rare to find
    this coming to mind's twain
arriving arriving arriving at
    matched experiences
above expectation
    thus contemplated    and let be let be
let be

mmix

after reading poems on love by elizabeth b. browning

Does my mother need an ornament

Does my mother need an ornament

for she was no angel halo-sent

besides, her heart was stone-cold

after my father went

was he her immaterial precedent?

mcmlxxx